High standards or unrealistic expectations? Take our quiz and find out if you're a perfectionist

Resist the urge to ace this quiz and answer honestly – are you a perfectionist? Then find out how you can have a healthy attitude to being perfect and why there are benefits to embracing imperfection.

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You scroll through a picture-perfect Instagram feed. What do you think to yourself?

A. Why isn’t my life like that? I need to try harder.

B. That does look nice, but I also know that it’s highly edited.

C. I’m totally OK with aiming for average.

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You fail an assignment. How do you react?

A. I’m a failure as a person. 

B. That’s a shame, but there’s lots I can learn from this experience.

C. Who cares?

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You’re writing a text as you walk, and you spot a typo. You: 

A. Stop walking and omit all grammatical errors for fear of looking incompetent.

B. Hit send – it was only a small mistake, and it still makes sense!

C. Send a string of unrelated emojis instead of bothering to type.

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Which option sounds most like you?

A. No matter how hard I try, I feel it’s not enough for my family and friends.

B. I’m doing the best I can but there’s room to improve – I know that I’m not perfect.

C. I have low expectations of myself, so everyone else should too – it means I don’t have to try so hard.

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When you post your latest accomplishment online, it doesn’t get as many ‘likes’ as you thought it would what do you think?

A. I’m disappointed. I might take it down if it doesn’t get more ‘likes’ as it makes me look stupid.

B. Recognition is nice, but I’m super proud of myself regardless.

C. Why put the effort in? Next time I just won’t share it.

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If you want a job doing...

A. You need to do it yourself!

B. You give others clear instructions and the autonomy to try.

C. You always delegate.

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You’re having some friends round for dinner and the supermarket doesn’t have a certain food you wanted. Do you:

A. Go to every supermarket in the area to find it. 

B. Find another, similar option that you think your guests will like.

C. Decide to just get takeaway when they come over, it’ll be easier anyway.

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Score your answers

Mostly As:

You have sky-high standards and take pride in trying to be perfect. You often succeed, but in doing so, you’re highly critical towards yourself and others. You take on lots and want to do it all yourself.

When a big project looms, you’ll procrastinate out of fear that what you come up with won’t be good enough or worthy of praise.

When you’re being tough on yourself like this, gently take a step back to regain perspective. It takes courage and compassion, but it’s an important opportunity to let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace and accept who you truly are instead.

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Mostly Bs:

You’re healthily striving and have an internal drive that leads you towards great achievements. You desire to do well and this brings a sense of joy when you succeed.

Feedback from others is always welcomed, and rather than chasing perfect, you know you’ll be mentally healthier and happier if you embrace the moments of imperfection.

But that doesn’t mean that you should let others off if they don’t try when you ask them to do something – make sure you get what you want.

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Mostly Cs:

It’s true that done is better than perfect, but you’re lacking the motivation to strive and that means you’re not accomplishing what you’re capable of. By not stretching yourself you’re also passing up the opportunity to grow. You might be scared of failing or being rejected, and that’s left you a little apathetic.

Consider what interests and energises you, think of a specific goal you’d like to reach in that domain and set your sights on the prize. This will help you to apply yourself, succeed and feel proud of your achievements.

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new”

Albert Einstein

How to embrace imperfection

Having high standards is important, yet how you reach them can make all the difference to your sense of achievement. Annika Rose explains how reframing your quest for perfection will leave you feeling healthier and happier.

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Picture perfect

Many perfectionists wear their badge with pride, as a hallmark of delivering excellence and unrivalled quality. The catch is, of course, that there is no such thing as ‘perfect’, and the quest for perfection can actually derail progress and achievement.

But while perfection may be an impossible outcome at the end of an illusion, it can be easy to find yourself focusing on having the perfect body, mind or career.

As anyone who has tried to recreate an Insta-worthy weekend away or a Pinterest-perfect wedding day must admit, it’s nowhere near as easy/effortless/enjoyable as it looks to achieve, yet via the guise of social media this somehow seems attainable and something to aspire to achieving for yourself.

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Healthy attitude

A perfectionist tends to pile pressure on themselves, combining extremely high personal standards with excessively critical self-evaluation in their quest to become the best. But rather than providing motivation, this pressure usually leaves them feeling stressed and makes them less productive. They may find themselves procrastinating, becoming fearful of making a mistake or receiving feedback, and feeling burned out before even properly starting. 

Regardless of how much a perfectionist achieves, they often struggle to see the improvements that they’ve made and are ultimately left feeling less than satisfied and overly concerned about what others will think. 

A healthy striver, on the other hand, is someone who likes to aim sky high and will set themselves stretch goals to work towards. They will enjoy the journey, taking the time to learn and grow in their pursuit of excellence, taking feedback on board and bouncing back quickly when something doesn’t work out quite right, and ultimately becoming their best selves.

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Flawed flawlessness

A 2017 study found that, in comparison with previous generations, levels of perfectionism have significantly increased over the past three decades among young people in the UK, Canada and the US.

This coincides with more young people going through a quarter-life crisis and increased rates of depression, anxiety, body image issues and suicidal ideation.

Researcher and author Brené Brown describes perfectionism as a self-destructive and addictive belief system that we use to shield ourselves from experiencing shame and pain. She has found that striving for flawlessness perpetuates a flawed assumption that perfection equals approval, but this relentless quest to be the best is primarily driven by fear of never being enough.

“Perfection is the willingness to be imperfect”

Lao Tzu

Put it into practice

In this age where perfection is ultra-desirable, yet ultra-unattainable, it’s important to regain a balanced perspective on what matters most. You don’t have to be perfect to be amazing. You just have to be you. It’s your uniqueness, quirks and so-called imperfections that actually make you more lovable, creative, caring and captivating.

Being perfectly imperfect is something we can all happily strive for, and ultimately achieve. Here are some practical tips for applying this to your daily life…

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Stay savvy on social media.

What other people present to the world often isn‘t the whole story. This is especially true online, so when you’re scrolling, do it mindfully.

Remind yourself that you don’t know what went on behind the scenes to create the image you’re looking at, and be aware of the unrealistic standards that social media can portray.

Knowing that social comparison is the thief of joy, why not instead subscribe to some outlets and influencers that keep things real for a healthier balance when you’re online?

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Think positive.

If you’re battling with perfectionist tendencies, you may be bombarded with negative self talk that’s undermining your ability to perform or complete a task. This voice will cause self-doubt, fear and feelings of being overwhelmed.

During these times, soften your approach towards yourself by considering how you would support a friend in the same situation as you. With kindness and compassion, come up with a few words that you would say to them if you saw them bringing themselves down. Remember to then actually take your own advice! 

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Appreciate your accomplishments.

There’s always something bigger to achieve, but that doesn’t need to take away from what you’ve accomplished today. When you reach a milestone, take a moment to take it in.

Rather than using this as an opportunity to seek the praise of others, take this time to reflect on the process, the progress and what you’ve learned so far on this journey.

Be proud of what you’ve done, and don’t compare it to anyone else – you are on your own journey, and applauding yourself for completing a task or a goal doesn’t need context from other people.

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