It’s scary. It’s a thrill. It’s exactly the terror you need to keep your heart racing. And no, we’re not talking about films – we’re talking about your love life.
If you don’t want the hassle of endlessly scrolling through streaming services to find the perfect horror movie, then we’ve got you covered. Gathered has compiled some of the best films of the season to give you the perfect fright, with some key teachings you might need to apply to your own love life.
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‘As a dating and relationship coach, I often find that the most insightful lessons about love and partnership can come from unexpected places,’ shares Kate Mansfield, dating and relationship coach.
‘This Halloween, as we indulge in our favourite scary films, we can also learn a great deal about what to look for and what to run from in our own relationships. The exaggerated and often terrifying scenarios in horror films can shine a spotlight on the subtle red flags and green flags we might otherwise miss.’
Horror movies are great for escapism, which can feel especially needed when we’re trying to escape the scary people in our own dating lives. It’s exactly why more people are turning to matchmaking services to help them regain control of their love lives to get exactly what they want in a partner.
Sarah Louise Ryan, dating and relationship expert at Love Collective Global, explains: ‘People crave meaningful and intentional connections that lead to real compatibility. When attending singles events or navigating online apps, it’s hard to tell who has the same dating intentions as you or who is looking for something short but sweet.
‘Matchmakers only deal with people on a personal level who are seeking real love, intentionally. Often matchmakers, like me, work globally, connecting people that wouldn’t normally cross paths for a deep connection.
‘Expert guidance helps clarify compatibility, offering tailored support rather than guesswork – we matchmakers gather feedback from our clients that is helpful and constructive, so our singles know what is and isn’t working. The feedback is something that doesn’t usually happen with online dating, and so we offer a layer that coaches them to approach dating in a more intentional way. We offer insight to tweak the experience for them, making it more positive and connecting.’
It’s exactly why we’ve asked experts like Sarah and Kate what they recommend we look for – and avoid – in our dating patterns so we can sift through the leading heroes from the haunting villains that hide behind potential dates.
The best dating lessons our favourite scary movies can teach us
Film: Get Out (2017)
Lesson: Be cautious with a family that aren’t close enough
Being close with your family can be a great sign of family values, especially if this is what you’re looking for when building your own family. It can show signs of open communication, teamwork, and consideration for those around you. When this is missing, it can become an issue that harms all types of relationships, Sarah explains: ‘Dismissive or poor communication erodes connection and even friendship in a romantic relationship.
‘Without the ebb and flow of healthy communication, it means conflicts can’t be resolved. Without understanding how to ‘fight well’ and the needs of the other, we become dismissive, or one party might ‘emotionally haemorrhage’ in the relationship. By understanding needs, we understand how to communicate.’
We’re not saying that you need to share the suspense-gripping or terror-inducing family dynamics that are shown in Get Out, but looking for a partner with strong family values who communicates their needs to you may be a green flag. Just try to avoid the body-swapping drama, and you should be fine (we hope).
Film: Fresh (2022)
Lesson: Never trust a secret love bomber
Love bombing is a subtle way of gaining control that a partner will sometimes use to manipulate you, showering you endlessly with gifts and compliments to then suddenly stop responding to your texts and leave you feeling like you’re to blame.
It could be a serious red flag, as Kate explains: ‘One of the most insidious patterns in toxic relationships is when someone showers you with excessive attention, gifts, and affection early on, only to gradually become controlling once you're emotionally invested. This creates a trauma bond that can be incredibly difficult to break.
‘Fresh perfectly captures this dynamic. Sebastian Stan's character Steve appears charming and attentive during the initial dating phase, offering exactly what protagonist Noa needs after a string of disappointing dates. However, once he has her isolated and vulnerable, his true predatory nature emerges. The film brilliantly uses the horror genre to literalise the metaphor of men who "consume" women in relationships.’
Film: Coraline (2009)
Lesson: If someone has two personalities, it’s a warning sign
We all take on different personas in our different circles. To one group of friends, you may be confident and outgoing, but to another, you may be viewed as more considered and reserved. Having different aspects of your personality shine at different times is healthy, natural, and shows the nuance we can have as individuals.
The real issue can come when we switch personalities completely, moving from warming and welcoming to terror-inducing, much like the characters in Coraline themselves.
A sign of a positive relationship is when you can fully be yourself with your partner, explains Sarah: ‘Being your authentic self feels effortless, which fosters trust and comfort. If you feel you are hiding some of yourself or having to hold yourself back, the love will feel lacklustre. If you feel you can fully integrate your whole self, you will feel content, and that’s the aim for a happy and healthy love life.’
Film: X (2022)
Lesson: Partners should support each other’s goals
A relationship is a partnership; that means looking out for each other and celebrating each other’s accomplishments, no matter how big or small. It’s an unlikely trait we see in X, as Kate explains: ‘X features the relationship between Maxine and her boyfriend Jackson. Despite being in the adult film industry together, they maintain mutual respect for each other's choices and ambitions. Jackson supports Maxine's dreams of stardom without trying to control or shame her.
‘A good partner encourages your independence and respects your individual goals and friendships rather than trying to isolate you or make you dependent on them.’
Film: Fatal Attraction (1987)
Lesson: A one-night stand always has consequences
Understandably, Michael Douglas’s character did have it coming from cheating on his partner in this film, but it left audiences terrified of ever having a one-night stand after its release in the 80s. And with the decline in casual sex among young people now reportedly being culturally accepted but not physically acted on, that fear may be returning among new audiences.
In fact, according to The Times, only 23% of Generation Z commonly engage with one-night stands, compared to 78% of millennials who were asked the same question 20 years ago.
So if this film has taught us anything, it's always to take our safety seriously when it comes to hookups.
Film: A Quiet Place (2018)
Lesson: A good partner will help you through the tough times
For most relationships, silence is a sign of poor communication and should be something that you take a closer look at as a couple. In A Quiet Place, the film flips the dynamic on its head to show how a couple can connect with each other on a deeper level, without even saying anything at all.
Kate explains: ‘A healthy partner will stand by you during difficult times and help you process trauma rather than dismissing or minimising your experiences.
‘In A Quiet Place and its sequel, A Quiet Place Part II, Evelyn and Lee Abbott demonstrate incredible partnership whilst navigating an apocalyptic scenario. They communicate effectively (literally through sign language), support each other's decisions, and work as a unified team to protect their family.’
Film: The Shining (1980)
Lesson: A bad temper is a red flag
Being angry or frustrated is a completely normal emotional response to what’s happening in our lives. But if your partner has a bad temper all the time, and more of their days are spent angry rather than calm, then it’s not the sense of calm you want in your love life.
We’re not exactly saying that a bad temper may be as obvious as the axe-wielding cries of Jack Nicholson’s ‘Here’s Johnny’ performance, but your partner shouldn’t leave you wanting to run away after an argument.
Film: Frankenstein (1994)
Lesson: They shouldn’t be wreaking havoc to their surroundings
A messy house can be a normal environment, especially after a long working day, but without a little light cleaning every now and then, your home can begin to become unrecognisable. If your partner is refusing to ever clean or help tackle the chores, they might not be helping to balance the workload at home, leaving you to carry the weight of two people’s mess on your own.
‘Disrespect of boundaries shows incompatibility and a lack of consideration for one another’s needs,’ explains Sarah. ‘This can be done subconsciously if one or both parties don’t know the needs of the other, then boundaries will be crossed, and this can provoke anger, frustration, irritation, and even rage. However, communicating one’s own boundaries is essential to taking responsibility for the romantic relationship.’
Film: The Addams Family (1991)
Lesson: Embracing differences is the key to a happy relationship
Looking for a partner to share a hobby or connection with can be great, but it’s not the precipice of a happy relationship. In fact, Stylist reports that 60% of single people are now enthused by dating someone with a quirky hobby and interest, setting them apart from the crowd. It just might mean that your weird fishing hobby, or crazed stamp collection, might finally single you out as a catch for once.
‘Mutual respect, kindness, and appreciation lay a strong foundation for long-term love,’ shares Sarah. ‘Small acts of loving kindness, when done consistently, create a compound effect over time of healthy love. When a partner feels equal, valued, respected, and loved, they are more able to talk about the difficulties in the relationship constructively with empathy. There is much science in the brain about this.’
Film: Cat Person (2023)
Lesson: Never accept someone breaking your boundaries
There’s a difference between someone who encourages you to try new things and someone who coerces you to do things that you’re not comfortable with. Knowing the difference can be essential in recognising a healthy from a concerning relationship, Kate says: ‘Cat Person (2023), based on the viral short story, explores this with uncomfortable accuracy.
‘The film shows how women often feel pressured to continue dating someone they're not interested in because rejecting them feels more dangerous than enduring their company. It captures the exhausting reality of having to manage men's emotions to ensure your own safety.
‘Perhaps one of the most dangerous red flags is a partner who cannot accept ‘no’ for an answer, whether that's about sex, continuing the relationship, or any other boundary you've set,’ adds Kate. ‘A partner who consistently pushes your boundaries, ignores your ‘no’ or makes you feel unsafe expressing your discomfort is displaying serious red flag behaviour. This often starts small but can escalate significantly.’
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