Discover what your dreams are trying to tell you
Dreaming is nonsensical. It brings in people from past lives we’ve lived into our present, bends the world around us in a Dali fashion, and we’re not quite sure if they’re aspirational or anxiety-inducing.
Although we all have to sleep to rest our bodies and restore our energy levels every day, our understanding of what it really means to dream can be quite limited. But what do our dreams actually mean?
In Ancient Egypt, dreams were recorded on papyrus to help understand their divinity and spiritual messaging. In Ancient Greece, the sanctuary of Asklepios, the god of medicine, would provide a calming presence for people to perform enkoimesis; healing through deep sleep and dreaming. Some communities still believe that dreams can provide a spiritual or prophetic message, helping to enrich or add meaning to our lives.
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There are three main formats of dreams that we experience. They are:
- Standard Dreaming – This is the main type of dreaming that we remember, occurring during Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. This is when our brains are actively sharing images or narratives with us that leave us confused the following morning.
- Lucid Dreaming – When we’re asleep, but we’re conscious that we’re existing within a dream, we are lucid dreaming. It’s estimated that 53% of people have experienced a lucid dream at least once, with 23% of people experiencing them routinely.
- Nightmares or Night Terrors – An unpleasant dream filled with concepts or visions that we’d rather not experience, leaving us sad or downtrodden afterwards, is a nightmare.
How we dream also changes throughout our lives. When we’re infants, our dreams are centred around plain concepts like eating or seeing an object, rather than memories or events.
Only 20% of children under the age of 7 report that they dream when they wake up from REM sleep, with our dreams dramatically changing after the age of 7. This is when our dreams begin having a more established narrative, or we become a more active character in our dreams who can engage with the environment around us. For adults, between 80 and 90% of us experience a dream when we awake from REM sleep.
Even animals dream. That may be unsurprising to anybody who has witnessed their dog or cat energetically moving their legs in a running motion while deep in sleep. That’s because in some animals, the brainstem, which controls movement, engages with the part of the brain responsible for dreams, causing them to involuntarily act out.
It may not necessarily mean that your dog is chasing a ball in their dream, following a narrative similar to how humans dream, but these dreams may be emotionally driven.
So, what do dreams mean?
A nightmare isn’t the same as your standard dream. It’s filled with terror-inducing feelings, images that frighten you, and emotional responses that we would rather avoid. When we’re living in a state of stress or anxiety, a nightmare may be our brain’s response to dealing with and processing the situation.
In one research study, 29 people recorded their remembered dreams in a dream journal for two weeks. Of the 299 sleep reports made, 65% of them correlated with the experiences that had happened recently in their life.
That doesn’t necessarily mean that if you had a good or bad day, you would have a good or bad dream, but that keeping your brain in a calm and relaxed environment will encourage your potential of having a positive dream.
Eloise Skinner is a psychotherapist, specialising in logotherapy and existential analysis: ‘Logotherapy is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on meaning – how we find meaning in life, and why it's so fundamental to our wellbeing. Existential analysis is a broader field that takes a more 'whole-person' approach to the psychotherapy method – looking at all aspects of a person's life (as well as their sources of meaning).
‘Both forms of psychotherapy or counselling might feel quite similar to other styles of 'talking therapy', and the techniques used can be quite varied depending on the practitioner, but share the same goal of helping an individual understand their life, in order to live more authentically.’
The science on what our dreams mean is inconclusive, but some theorists believe that recurring images, themes or concepts can be indicative of different meanings.
Common dream motifs
Falling from a building
If you’re dreaming that you’re falling from a building, it may not just be because of a fear of heights. A shocking feeling of falling or suddenly waking up out of shock in the night, is frightening.
In a space where our dreams are supposed to be helping us unwind and explore our creative side, having the ground seemingly disappear underneath us is terrifying.
To combat it, try making a list of the top five things that are causing major stress in your life. Think about how they make you feel in the daytime, and how these anxious thoughts may be amplified in our nightmares.
See if you can complete one small activity or task to reduce the stress that each item on the list is causing. It may not stop your bad dreams overnight, but it will make your list of stresses feel even less like a skyscraper.
Being naked
You’re standing in front of your work colleagues, or waiting for the bus, or buying your shopping in the supermarket – but you’re naked.
Nudity is a popular theme to appear in dreams, for both positive and shocking reasons. When we’re naked, we’re at some of our most vulnerable moments in life. Our bodies are exposed to the world around us, and we have to trust our initiative that we’re in a safe space.
If nudity is appearing as a theme in your nightmares, that may be related to your vulnerability being under attack or weaponised.
It may be worth considering what is causing stress in your life to make you feel exposed to attacks and working to tackle this in your daily routine. That may be setting up some healthy boundaries with work, planning some self-care evenings in your weekly schedule, or dedicating a day to tackling that never-ending to-do list that’s been weighing you down.
Attempting to remove as much stress from your daytime activities can encourage your brain to have fewer negative or stressful experiences during your sleep.
Your hair or teeth falling out
If your mornings are spent double-checking that you still have all of your teeth intact, it may mean you have a mundane fear of the dentist – who doesn’t?
It could also mean that your brain is worried about a lack of self-control, much like losing your hair makes you feel out of control of your image.
How we present ourselves has such a significant impact on our confidence levels that, when this is threatened, our sense of self is under attack. As our bodies change and age throughout our lives, it can often feel like we’re constantly trying to relearn what we look like.
Dreaming about your hair and teeth falling out shouldn’t spark an identity crisis in your life, but it may be a sign that you should do something to kickstart your confidence in yourself this week to feel a bit more in control.
Just be sure to cut back on the sugary drinks and keep your dental hygiene intact, as there’s no greater nightmare than damaging your enamel.
Dying
Our brains use dreams to help us understand and navigate the world around us. When death contains so much emotional weight in our lives, paired with a healthy lack of answers to what comes next, it’s no wonder that we’re fusing death into a space where our brains are allowed to think freely.
You may have a very mundane anxiety or fear surrounding dying, whether that’s for yourself or your friends and family, and this may be manifesting in your dreams.
If death is something that’s been a big part of your daily life, it’s natural that your brain will keep thinking about the topic during your dreams in a period of life filled with grief, unknowing and longing for answers.
Analysing your dreams may not be as effective as talking to a loved one about how you feel, so this may be your sign to start a chat to talk about your mental health with someone you trust.
Your ex
Just because your ex is back in your mind, doesn’t mean they need to get back in your bed, too. Eloise explains: ‘I think if someone were to have a particular dream on a repetitive basis, or dream about a particular person often, it might be worth analysing the reasons this might be happening – but if analysis doesn't lead to any insight, I still don't think it would necessarily be cause for concern (unless it was affecting someone's wellbeing or health).’
Dreams can be a great place to explore, but they’re not ‘unconscious truths’ for our brain to unpack for us. Although it’s considered that 81% of us believe our dreams have deeper meanings, according to research from the Sleep Foundation, the scientific basis for this thinking doesn’t necessarily confirm that.
While deducing a dream’s meaning can make us feel calmer, this analysis is completely theoretical, shares Eloise: ‘I don't think there are any dream-related themes on a general / population level that would hold specific meanings – although obviously we might dream about something happening in our current cultural environment, and others might experience similar imagery.
‘However, dream analysis can also be quite interesting even without it having clear or objective answers – dreams can be creative and entertaining, and we might find it to be insightful or a good form of self-care to spend time analysing our dreams, or even journaling/creating art inspired by them.’
When should we be worried about dreams?
The importance of dreams, and whether they reflect the world around us, is widely debated. Some believe they’re a place for our brains to indulge in fantasy, others that they speak truly to how we really feel about certain people or events, or some even believe they have little meaning whatsoever.
While research indicates that dreams can be responsive to our environment, it doesn’t mean we should be worried about a bad dream. Dreams are interpreted differently, as there’s so much that researchers still don’t understand.
Eloise adds: ‘There isn't currently a scientific consensus on the purpose that our dreams could serve – theories include an evolutionary function (for example, helping us to visualise stressful or challenging situations, in order to prepare psychologically for them), or a cognitive function (for example, processing/storing/organising memories).
‘From a psychological perspective, what our dreams tell us about ourselves is somewhat subjective – and depends on the method of interpretation. On a more straightforward level, it might just be something that is currently on our mind, or something we were thinking about as we went to sleep. Other theories – such as Freud's dream analysis work – suggest that dreams have symbolic value – for example, that we can identify and address anxieties or unprocessed thoughts by understanding our dreams in more detail.’
Freud theorised that dreams are bizarre and absurd, rather than evidence or hard facts about our feelings or beliefs. He labelled this thinking approach as free association, where dreams can be symbolic, but the meanings of symbols vary from dreamer to dreamer.
That means if you’re dreaming of falling off a building, it may be completely different in messaging to a similar dream that someone else has had, and your interpretation of how a dream affects your life quantifies its meaning.
It’s safe to say that dreams have about as much meaning in your life as you give them. Maybe dreaming about that ex is a sign you want to get back together with them, or maybe it’s just because your brain remembered a photo you swiped past of them on social media. Sweet dreams, if you can…
How to prepare yourself for a calm night’s sleep
When you’re anxious about getting some essential shuteye, that can transform your beds from an environment of recovery into one of rejection. If you’re worried about bad dreams or nightmares affecting you in the night, consider trying:
No screens – Try to turn your bedroom into a no-screen zone. That means no harsh lighting to keep your eyes strained, or blinking and realising that you’ve been doomscrolling for the last hour and a half. Swap the screen for a book or magazine instead, which may help you stick to a curfew that will actually get you a long enough rest at night.
Chamomile tea – A great cup of tea can enact a calming wave all over your body, helping you to unwind with every sip. Chamomile can be the perfect blend to help enhance your beauty sleep as it’s naturally caffeine-free and has a light floral flavour.
Build a routine – If you find routine helps you find more structure in your evenings, set one that works for you and try to follow it every evening. That may be performing the same evening skincare routine at the same time, or putting your phone on silent at a set bedtime. Whatever works for you, try to keep that routine each evening to prioritise your relaxation.
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