Cuffing season is officially here: 5 reasons your ‘cold weather’ romance could be a dating trap
There is now an official dictionary definition for something many single people will recognise as soon as the temperature drops.
Cuffing season has just been added to Merriam-Webster's dictionary, alongside around 1,400 other new words and definitions. The dictionary defines it as the time of year when people who aren't married or in a relationship start looking for a short-term romantic partner to spend the colder months with.
The term isn't exactly new. It has been used for years, particularly online, to describe the autumn and winter urge to find someone to spend the colder, darker months with. But its inclusion in Merriam-Webster is a sign of just how established the phrase has become.
And the timing couldn't be better. Autumn is here, the evenings are getting darker and the appeal of having someone to share cosy nights, weekend plans and the run-up to Christmas with can suddenly feel rather strong.
But there is a catch.
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The whole point of cuffing season is that the relationship can be temporary. That doesn't automatically make it a bad thing, but deliberately looking for someone because you want a partner for the colder months can make it surprisingly easy to confuse seasonal comfort with genuine compatibility.
Here are five reasons your cuffing-season romance could become a dating trap.
1. You might want company more than you want them
There's an important difference between wanting a particular person and wanting someone.
When autumn arrives, the prospect of being single through months of dark evenings can suddenly seem much less appealing. You might find yourself imagining cosy nights in, Christmas markets, New Year's Eve plans and having someone to text when you're curled up on the sofa.
Those things are perfectly understandable to want. But they can also make the idea of a relationship seem more appealing than the person you're actually dating.
Before getting swept up in the excitement, ask yourself whether you'd still be interested in this particular person if it were June and you were spending your evenings outside with friends.
If the answer feels very different, it is worth paying attention to.
2. Cosiness can hide incompatibility
Winter is almost designed to make a new relationship feel wonderful.
There are candles, blankets, pub lunches, films on the sofa, Christmas lights and long evenings spent talking. You can create a lovely little bubble together without necessarily discovering whether you work well as a couple in everyday life.
A cosy evening together can tell you that you enjoy being cosy together. It doesn't necessarily tell you how you'll deal with disagreements, different priorities, busy schedules or the less glamorous parts of a relationship.
This is particularly worth remembering when a new relationship seems to become intense very quickly.
3. You're under seasonal pressure to be coupled up
The run-up to Christmas can make being single feel unusually visible.
Friends start making plans with partners. Invitations arrive asking whether you're bringing someone. Social media fills with couples, Christmas dates and engagement announcements. Then there are the family questions about whether you're seeing anyone.
Suddenly, having a partner can feel like something you need to sort out before Christmas rather than something that should happen naturally.
That pressure can encourage people to overlook things they would normally take more seriously.
A relationship doesn't become more suitable simply because the calendar is approaching December.
4. You can mistake intensity for compatibility
New relationships often feel exciting anyway. Add dark evenings, more time indoors and the desire for companionship and things can move very quickly.
You may start seeing each other several times a week, spending whole weekends together and making Christmas plans before you've really had the chance to work out what you want from one another.
That isn't necessarily a problem. Some relationships develop quickly and happily.
The danger is assuming that because you feel very close very quickly, you've necessarily discovered long-term compatibility.
Give yourself time to see each other in ordinary circumstances too. Go for a boring supermarket shop. Have a disagreement. Spend time apart. Meet each other's friends. Real compatibility has to survive more than a few perfect winter evenings.
5. You may be dating with an expiry date in mind
This is the biggest problem with the idea of cuffing season itself.
If you go into a relationship expecting it to last only through the colder months, you may behave differently from someone who is open to seeing where the relationship goes.
You might avoid difficult conversations because you don't see the point. You might accept things you wouldn't normally accept because the arrangement is supposed to be temporary. Or you could find yourself staying with someone simply because you don't want to go back to being single when spring arrives.
Equally, there is nothing inherently wrong with a short-term relationship if everyone involved understands what they're looking for.
The important thing is not accidentally agreeing to two completely different relationships.
So, is cuffing season really a bad idea?
Not necessarily. Wanting companionship in autumn and winter is hardly a new human behaviour, and there is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship at this time of year. Dating during the colder months can be enjoyable, and a relationship that starts in October doesn't have to end in spring.
The problem comes when the season becomes the reason for the relationship.
If you're dating because you genuinely like someone, enjoy their company and want to discover where things might go, that's very different from choosing a partner because you don't fancy spending winter alone.
So by all means embrace the cosy dates, the pub lunches and the Christmas markets. Just make sure you're choosing the person, rather than choosing the season.
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